S'all about the Benjamin's, baby.

I haven't written anything for nearly two weeks now. I guess i'm doing the world a great thing, i mean, a drought of my proverbial smartass is probably easing that cramp on society's aching back. But me being the uncouth person that I am, decided that modern culture's respite from my colorfully tasteful litany (think skittles; pop them in, then taste the rainbow) should be short-lived and unexpected (think the Spice Girls reunion concert). So adieu, C'est la Vie, the ranting shall begin and the benign shall weep.

My first rant comes from the fact I am piss-broke. The coffers of ye olde' gold are nearly depleted and income arrives slower than the Sex Pistol's new album. Add to the fact that the season of merry spending and plentiful giving is upon us, and you've got one desperate boy looking for the good greens. So how did my deliberate displacement of happen to arise? Apparently, when you're still a fucking teenager, you've no sense of responsibility of whatever happens to excrete itself from your wallet. Actually, I have no clue where all my hard-earned savings went. Bah, better well spent at Scruffy Murphy's or Greater union than saved for my retirement fund.

Secondly, I've become a full-fledged English tutor for year 11 and 12 infants now. No really, this shit is soon to be my permanent occupation starting from the next month or so. What do I know about teaching English? Squat. Zilch. Nada. But whatever, my employer (an actual, legitimate, human whose wardrobe contents have a net-worth more than my entire life. He's still a metrosexual in the closet) is paying me, most suitably a below-award wage to get me started. Any concerns? Worries that should I fail, I would probably drag my students into an academic oblivion? None whatsoever. I'm so confident, I've already used a third of this post to subliminally advertise my wares. And you thought the marketing crew at Burger King was shameless.

After all, Advertising is a moderated and rigorous practice with strict guidelines, while self-promotion is a welcome and esteemed act of personal righteousness. Put them together, and you get this post, minus the moderation. So to all the young children unadulterated by life's whims reading here. Come, you pay me, me teach you good English. Long time.